Wednesday, April 29, 2020
Mariah Morgan
How have you found joy this Easter season?
Where have you found joy in this Easter season? Like many, I have felt lately like I’m riding the quarantine rollercoaster. Some days are up, some days are down, and you never know what will trigger the highs or the lows. I’ve realized that I have been unwittingly filling every free moment of my life with noise and that quarantine has exacerbated this issue. If I have time to myself, I am listening to a podcast or an audiobook or any music possible. I have Facetimed with friends and Zoomed with co-workers for lunch break socialization. Anything to drown out my own thoughts out of the fear of the stress they might bring me or the emotion they might require me to face. I’m a parent, a business-owner, and happen to be seven-months pregnant- the worry that I sometimes feel is overwhelming.
I had the good fortune to visit Taizé, an ecumenical monastery in Eastern France, many times with the youth group I grew up attending (St. Mark’s, New Canaan, CT) and many times afterward of my own volition. It is an incredibly special place and its worship services are built around both song and silence. The silence can be a challenge and the first few services that you attend at Taizé can be uncomfortable because you are forced to sit with your own thoughts for long periods of time and, more often than not, you find your brain going into overdrive, attempting to fill the space. By the end of your stay, your comfort with the quiet, and with yourself, has grown. You find yourself able simply to be silent in the presence of God. I cannot explain the comfort and peace that this can bring but I believe that there are many inexplicable things when it comes to the comfort and peace of God.
It has been many years since my last trip to Taizé and I find myself out of practice but, a few weeks into New Hampshire’s stay-at-home order, when I realized that I was purposely cramming what could be quiet time with any noise that I could get my hands (or ears) on, I did my best to stop and allow silence back into my life. It is a revelation that I’m not sure I would have come to if quarantine had not created the space for it. The practice has brought me hope. It’s not always easy, as there is certainly anxiety to be dealt with at the moment, but regaining a comfort level with quiet and with allowing God into my silence, has brought me joy and peace in the most unexpected and welcome way. It has been a very special reminder that we are not alone, no matter how much solitude we are forced to face.
“In each person there is a portion of solitude which no human intimacy can ever fill. Yet you are never alone. Let yourself be plumbed to the depths and you will see that, in your heart of hearts, in the place where no two people are alike, Christ is waiting for you. And what you never dared hope for springs to life.” -Brother Roger, Founder of the Taizé Community, The Sources of Taizé
To hear the bells of Taizé calling the community to worship and some of the chants that often bring me comfort, click here.