Wednesday, January 21, 2021
Ellen Kingsbury
Faith
When Rob asked me to write a piece about faith for Reflections, I called him right away to tell him that I was not the person to do it. A 7th generation Unitarian, a skeptic, a wonderer, an observer and a recent convert to the Episcopal Church could not possibly reflect on the subject of faith!
We talked and he explained that my take on faith didn’t necessarily have to be about faith in the trinity, in a personal God, or transubstantiation. It could be my own take on things. So I got to thinking and decided to write about major shifts and changes in my life that have happened over the past year and more specifically, during Covid time.
So much of my life has been busy. Very busy. Two jobs, school, children, committees, friendships, family obligations. There were two singing groups, violin lessons, and art classes. There were pot luck dinners, bread baking, aerobics class and swimming to keep fit. Often I felt as if I was racing through my life!
We moved to a life plan community 15 months ago and it is now a trek to get to all the classes, the meetings, the singing groups. It’s woodsy and quiet out here in the country and I could begin to feel things slowing down. I found that there were days when I didn’t really want to get busy. It was enough to have a leisurely and healthy breakfast and go to the art studio for 3 hours. It was enough to sit and read a good book or see a new friend for a cup of tea and a talk.
Just as soon as I was getting used to a slower pace, Covid arrived and the whole community was put on lockdown. Groceries and meals were delivered and there were many hours when I would see no one in the halls. For the first time in my life I could not get in my car and go any where! This was a dilemma.
As the days went by with little variety, It became clear that there were many ways to think about this confinement. The newspapers were showing exploding numbers of sick people, businesses closing, folks losing jobs and income. Old people were at a disproportionate risk of dying and people were anxious and afraid.
We started to walk everyday. Long walks which took us though the March woods with vernal pools, and emerging spring ephemerals. I started a meditation group here in our community. It continues to meet regularly and is providing strength and resilience to the participants. We learned to use Zoom and had wonderful visits with grandchildren; some of whom read to us from their books just before bedtime. I was disciplined about art studio time. Each day I planned a project for the next day, followed though, and showed up.
As I look back, (and writing this has made that necessary) on the past 11 months I realize that this time has been a deeply happy and satisfying time in my life. I have learned to slow down, to be intentional, to appreciate. I have learned about being able to take life in stride, not to grasp at rainbows or run away from difficulties. I think that I’ve learned how to “just be” no matter what is going on.