Tuesday, October 5, 2021
Ann Tarlton
Reflection on the Parish Retreat
For some reason, Peter and I decided to attend our very first St. John's parish retreat at Merrowvista this fall. I suspect, after being away for the summer, we were both feeling the need to reconnect with our spiritual family and community. And so, off we went on a nasty, rainy day to beautiful Merrowvista, where we were warmly greeted by Matt, a former youth coordinator at St. John's.
As we were the first to arrive we had a nice amount of time to move into our very comfortable quarters, where we read and snoozed as we awaited the dinner bell, which finally clanged at 6:15. By 6:30 most all of the retreatants we were pretty much in the dining room preparing for a noisy and yummy dinner. To my surprise the "all" at dinner was compromised entirely of young families and their kids, as in 0 senior aka old people......hence the noise.
My initial reaction was one of disappointment, as I had expected and was looking forward to a greater attendance from all of the different age groups that make up the community of St. John's. My immediate response was to feel left out and probably excluded…just another old person. I woke up the next morning feeling hurt, useless and with no purpose. Ugh!!!!
And then during a grace period of prayer......I stopped to listen to myself and became aware of the most used word I heard in my heart-felt hurts and thoughts. That word was "I". I this and I that. I accepted my feelings as genuine and painful but then I also realized I needed to change my focus.
After lunch I summoned my courage and reached out to see if I could start a conversation with a much younger person. No problem……we had a really nice exchange. So I tried again and again I enjoyed the ensuing conversation. What fun! I realized how much we all miss when we have so few opportunities to listen and to hear each other's stories. Each age group so often sticks with its own age group….let’s face it….birds of a feather stick together because they have a lot in common.
Peter and I were most definitely the oldest people on the retreat......our hearts and souls were both enlivened and deafened by the joyous noise of kids playing together again. We were both touched and excited by the questions asked by the young parents. We were aware of how we had lived through being young parents and middle aged parents and now older parents and that through all those parenting years we had wanted the same things St. John's younger parents were looking for....good health, safety, loving family and friends and a love for creation and its creator. Sounds so simple..... I was also aware of how much wisdom and experience we seniors have gained in our many years of life, wisdom that I wish I had had access to in my younger years. As I fell asleep that evening I thought about God’s presence during the retreat, in my conversations, in new relationships.
I felt myself falling back into the loving arms of God and that God had been there the whole time….. in Matt's warm greeting, in Ashley and Olin's music, in Rob's perfect words on the meaning and symbolism of the Eucharist, in the giggles and screams of the happy kids, in the concerned and thoughtful questions posed by the young parents and most especially in the beautiful scenery around Merrowvista, capped by the magnificent star- filled night around the fire pit.
It was magical. God's creative magic and love had surrounded and invaded all of our hearts and souls and, in some small way, I know it transformed me.