Tues. 28 Dec. 2021

Love

Lizzie Bristow

I have a card sitting on my window sill that says “There is no remedy for love but to love more”. When I sit at my desk I see this multiple times a day. It reminds me of the person who sent it to me, someone I deeply admire, and I think, oh that is so right!

On Sunday I went with Hannah, my daughter, to visit my mom on the memory care floor where she is now living. We had a cup of tea with her, and Hannah and my mom looked at an album my mom had created for her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary in 1980. The album is filled with four generations of pictures of family and friends. There are some mementos too, like my grandparents wedding invitation from 1930, and the order of service from each of their funerals.

Watching the two of them look at this album, that my mom had lovingly created for her parents, filled me with such deep gratitude and love. My mom’s current memory can get pretty muddled. Which, as many of you know from your own experience, is an almost unbearable loss to walk beside. But looking at this album, it was my mom who added the vivid details to a family history of which Hannah is already pretty familiar, so she asked questions and my mom filled in the story.

It was such a sweet moment to sit there with the two of them. I cannot do anything to stop my mom’s failing health or her memory loss. Or stop time to hold onto such a moment of grace. I am reminded that the only remedy for this love is to love more. Sometimes, I can be impulsively efficient in my desire to be helpful or to fix a problem. But often what is needed is just to love more. So much of what I am hoping to fix, or help, just needs loving presence. This seems so obvious but can get so easily lost. I think that is the journey — trusting that in the end it is just about love.

My prayer is for mindful presence, for graciousness, and to love more, because there is no remedy for love but to love more. In this winter season, sending much love to all of you.