Mon. Jan. 31, 2022
Miracles
Mary Watts
Have you experienced a miracle in your own life or perhaps seen one in the life of someone else? It has been said that coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. A miracle, however, must surely be different. Wouldn’t you think? Wouldn’t it be right there, in your face, undeniable and yet might we still doubt? Or do little miracles happen all the time and just slip by us unnoticed? Is it logical to think we might sit, shaking our heads in wonder (and awe) and often in denial because “Who am I?” to witness, much less be the beneficiary of a miracle?
The Wednesday after Christmas was an annual, scheduled visit with the cardiologist. (This man literally saved my life almost four years ago and after two days in hospital and three separate procedures I left with enough coronary artery stents to be a receiving station for NASA deep space communications. *said laughing*) When he walked into the exam room that Wednesday morning his face told the story. Yesterday’s PET scan had “lit up like a Christmas tree,” and there were so many possible points of arterial blockage or blood flow restriction, he didn’t even know where to begin. The only answer was to do an angiogram as quickly as possible. I should expect a consult about bypass surgery as he considered me an imminent risk for heart attack or stroke. Go home until we can get this scheduled. Don’t do anything to stress your heart. Please be assured that kind of news will really get a girl’s attention! I returned home and began to “put my affairs in order.”
Fast forward two weeks and the day of procedure started very early and very alone. My son had Covid in his household as did a best friend. It seemed nobody could be the required driver and stay to hold my hand or help listen to what the doctor might say. Backups were found. One sorority sister drove that morning. Another was scheduled to pick me up later, but I was again, since my husband’s death five years ago, completely alone and now facing the specter of illness. If the morning was short on personnel, it was not short on prayer. There were half a dozen hardcore prayer warriors “out there” that morning, storming the gates of heaven on my behalf, and I had spent a large part of the last two weeks asking God to either let me live or let me die, just don’t leave me in some “hanging fire middle ground” of infirmity. I did, in fact, pray the exact words from Gethsemane, over and over: Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.
And it was. Instead of coming in to consult about bypass surgery, the cardiologist breezed into recovery for 90 seconds to say that it all went surprisingly well, no blockages, no reduced blood flow locations and even the old stents from years ago looked good. He would see me again in six months. I was dumbfounded. The days following were spent in prayer again, thankful prayer, questioning prayer. “Hey, God, could you please tell me what just happened?” As quiet as a wisp of air, a word dropped into my heart: miracle.
Well, no, that can’t be right. Why waste a miracle on this old gal when I was ready to come Home and so many others are in greater need? After a few days of dialog with Him on this subject, the answer came as clear as a bell from David Whyte’s SJC Daily Reflection:
“It’s still possible in the end
to realize why you are here
and why you have endured,
and why you might have suffered
so much, so that in the end,
you could witness love, miraculously
arriving from nowhere...”
One miracle set in place to facilitate a witness of love miraculously arriving down the road? Well, I can think of no better reason to go on waiting, watching, wicks trimmed, trusting, living in faith. Having no other apparent choice, Thy will be done.
We want the answers to be complex, multi-faceted, even scientific if possible. Our human nature stretches itself toward our perception of logic and so we seek that, often to the point of ignoring the laws of parsimony. Occam’s Razor applies. God’s ways are not our ways, and His laws win the day, every day. I cannot guarantee to you that this whole month of angst and questions truly contained a miracle, but I am receiving it as such. Science has failed in the face of its own test results. The only remaining explanation, however unlikely it may seem, is the most simple: Divine intervention to open those arterial paths so that (for no discernible reason) this woman will endure to witness some kind of love that she yet needs to know. Interesting. Compelling. Vastly humbling.
Please find quiet moments and listen with your heart for the small whispers which may answer your own questions. God is transmitting constantly and (thankfully) you do not need stainless steel implants as receivers. (*laughing again*) Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in... He will direct your path. And do not discount the idea that in so directing your path, He may throw in a little miracle, too.