Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Cindy Fessenden

Trust

When I received Rob’s email inviting me to share my reflections on trust, my initial thought was to reply saying, “Nobody needs to hear my two cents on this word Rob, you can trust me on that.”

Yet, thanks to Rob, I have thought about trust a lot in this past week.

So, I will be frank: trust has become elusive to me over these past months and losing trust is not a comfortable feeling. Writing about it was be even more uncomfortable. But these are the times we are in: and they are not comforting or comfortable. So I share.

Somewhere between the pandemic and politics, I lost trust. Somewhere between the gun and racial violence, I lost trust. And somewhere between the remarkable difference the lockdowns have made on the natural world and so very, very much more, I will share that I have lost trust.

Ugh.

How did this happen? How did I lose trust at the most crucial point in my lifetime? How did we Americans become so divided?
How did so many injustices become simultaneously present?
How did we lose the ability to protect each other and the world?
How do we fix this multi-level crisis?

Today, knowing I needed to submit this reflection to Rob, I did a Q & A:

Q: Who is the one person I always call in a crisis?
A: God.

Indeed. I have prayed to God to help fix us and the uncomfortable predicaments we are experiencing now.

I have lit candles and I have rung bells. I have prayed to the Archangels and Jesus. I have prayed for the people I love and have prayed for strangers. I have prayed for the world and the leaders of it.

I wish I could say that by ruminating on what trust means to me - for an entire week – that some of my lost trust was restored. Alas, that hasn’t happened. Yet.

But.
I still have Faith.

And for everything we need most now: I will place My Trust in The Lord.