Wed. 12 Jan. 2022
Seeking Wisdom
Ashley Wade
Seeking Wisdom
The month of January has 31 days. The book of Proverbs has 31 chapters. That’s a fun alignment, so I’ve been reading and reflecting on a Proverb a day this month. “The book of Proverbs are not universal promises, but principals that have been tested over time and summarized to help people navigate wisely through life.” (Rich Villodas)
Here we have a whole book of the bible dedicated to revealing the urgency that God has for us to search for wisdom. I long to be a wise parent, a wise manager of money, wise in my relationships, wise with my words, wise with how I navigate my limitations. So, I begin my urgent search for wisdom in earnest. January 2022. 38 years old. No time like the present!
My default is not wisdom… no, my default is foolishness. Foolishness is the human default, I’m convinced (no offense to all you humans out there). Foolishness causes us to suffer needlessly. Foolishness brings death. Wisdom brings life. Wisdom is knowledge applied skillfully, in a timely manner, for the good of ourselves and others. Wisdom is a prayerful approach to decision making.
How has my lack of wisdom, my foolishness, brought me unnecessary suffering? Oh, so many layers to peel back here… I begin by contemplating three obstacles against wisdom: a too-full life, pride, and shame. All three of these ‘obstacles’ prick my soul and spirit. To sit with each of these ideas in solitude and silence is the assignment for me. Suffering because of a life that is too full and unbalanced. An image I created of myself covered and protected by pride. Choices and words that burn shame into the innermost spaces of my heart. The beautiful freedom comes when, these wounds acknowledged, this darkness revealed, I pass it back to Jesus. My foolishness doesn’t get the last word. I don’t have to repeat this grade. I get to move up!
Seeking wisdom requires me to reassess schedules and priorities. I need to slow down. I need to ask for help. I need to acknowledge my weaknesses and blind spots. I have limitations. God-given limitations. I am human. This is good news… do you believe that? I’m getting there.
Limitations in so many places… education, finances, having young children, time, energy, personality, intellectual, spiritual, focus, professional, physical… I’m sure there are more. I’m learning that my limitations are under-cover graces from God. Some of my limitations are here to stay. Through discernment, some will be surmountable. I need wisdom to understand what God is trying to teach me through my limitations. I need wisdom to understand how my limitations might become pathways to serve and give authentically. I have much greater respect for the sanctity of my limitations because of the process of seeking wisdom. Wow – I think I gain wisdom by simply seeking wisdom. Is that possible? God’s healing is mind boggling.
And so, I turn my focus to three incredible sources of wisdom: prayer, scriptures, and wise people. In prayer I open to the wisdom of the Holy Spirit through reflection and contemplation. I find wisdom in God’s word. And finally, the amazing gift of the counsel of other people who help me discern where I am being called and who I am meant to be. I can pray and read alone, but I can’t find a community of humans full of the wisdom I need without church. When I have hit some of my hardest moments professionally and personally, I have leaned on the people here at St. John’s. Women who have parented similar creatures such as mine whow assure me this is normal and expected and I’m ok. People who speak words of affirmation and love and support over me when all I could hear were the crushing words lodged in my subconscious - labeling, wounding, marginalizing - diminishing me and putting out my light.
God seeks a better and truer word over my life. Over all our lives. God offers affirmation, love, and peace. God works through his people. In this season of searching I cling to truth, wisdom, love, and discernment. I set down my human baggage and go to Jesus, naked and unashamed (Gen 2:25).
Finally, I offer a series of four simple statements that set my heart in the right place to seek God’s wisdom. I use these to lighten my burden and remind myself that I’m a work in progress. Perfectly imperfect.
1. I don’t know.
2. I need help.
3. I am loved.
4. Jesus is enough.