Monday, September 11, 2023
Love tap
Fran Meffen
Love tap …. God moving in mysterious ways
Just a few weeks ago, Jack and I were heading to Dorchester Center to see Elizabeth and the kids. Just before we got to our exit we were startled by a large crunch at the back of the car. Someone behind us had tried to get back into our lane and did not have enough space and ended up sideswiping the car. If you have ever driven on 93 South, it is no easy place to pull over but both cars got over and we proceeded to talk and exchange information. The gentleman driving the other car was Black and his sister was sitting beside him. The man’s car took the brunt of the crash and had previous damage on the same side. When the conversation began, he was very terse, and Jack and I did our best to bring that around including my talking to his sister who had a disability and was confused as well. By the time we both left the scene things were as good as they can be under the circumstances and we were glad that no one had gotten injured, cars can be repaired although Leland, we now knew his name, said he would not be reporting it but fixing his car himself. I felt a moment of white privilege and looked at Leland’s initial response to us as him living out his life experience with other white people.
Then there was to be the next chapter. This past week in the mail, we received a note from Leland and included was Jack’s car registration which he had handed over to Leland and had forgotten to get it back. Leland asked that we call him to verify that we had received it, so I gave him a call. He didn’t pick up initially, probably because he didn’t recognize the phone number, his voice mailbox was full so I could not leave a message. But, within two minutes Leland called me back. I thanked him so much for returning the registration and his response was “well of course, what else would I have done”. Here once again I felt that divide between White and Black making assumptions about each other. Leland and I continued to chat and unveiled the issue that when Black and White people strangers “meet” there is an immediate response that is filled with past history. When I shared with him that we had been on the way to see our daughter who is married to a man who has his family roots in Ghana and that I worried about him each time he was in his car we had a breakthrough moment. Leland’s whole tone changed, he shared that he was heading to Gambia soon as he continued to follow his family tree and he talked about the craziness of what black people were continuing to experience in this country, people trying to take away their right to vote, and more. It was one of those conversations that I have prayed about, one where I could listen to Leland and learn more about what it is like to live as a black man in the US. Leland said after a few minutes, look at us, two people who would not have ever talked ending up having a deep conversation about Black versus White experience. The conversation continued and by the end I don’t think either of us wanted to stop talking. Leland encapsulated the whole event by saying he would now look at the accident not as a negative, but as a “love tap” that led to a moment of dialogue that is so needed in our country.
I share all of this because to me this is another amazing example of the Spirit and God moving in mysterious ways to bring all of us together one moment at a time. Our closing to each other was God bless from Leland and Blessing from me. I hope that you will notice when God presents you with an opportunity to speak across a divide that is indeed part of our history. Only if we embrace our White privilege and the lifelong impact that it continues to have on black people will the light shine and allow us to fall silent and just listen for the lessons that the Spirit is teaching us each day.
Here's to the light of the Spirit, she is at our side every day.
Fran Meffen (meffen1955@gmail.com)