Wednesday, October 7, 2020
Helaine Wemple
Remember
When Rob asked me if I would write a daily reflection focusing on the theme “Remember”, the first thing I did was write the due date on my calendar so I wouldn't forget. Well, guess what? I remembered and never even looked at the calendar!
I am an avid on-the-fridge-calendar user. I’ve tried digital calendars, but I forget to use them. I am also a list-maker. I love having a do-to list (also on my fridge). During this time of COVID, I have found that my calendar is not so full, but my to-do list is a never ending list of reminders (of things I usually remember to do) - “Put trash out, call cousin, pay bills, buy toilet paper...” How could I forget to buy toilet paper?
Often in the past 6 months, I’ve felt that my brain was so full, I would not be able to remember even the simplest, most routine or highly important task. As a teacher during a pandemic, starting last March, I was in a constant state of triaging information, trying to compartmentalize and prioritize, trying to stay focused through a task, trying to clear out the less important or less pressing “files” in my brain. I bought color-coded notebooks for my lists, I wrote on my fridge white-board and my calendar, I even used my Google Calendar, but I couldn't remember anything. I couldn't even remember where I had written my reminders down.
Then, I read that in times of stress, anxiety and grief (which commonly describes the past 6 months), the lack of remembering and staying focused is common. Luckily, as a teacher, I have the summer to hit the “refresh” button. (Tip: When you are having computer issues, refreshing the page does wonders) Refreshing my brain, weeding out its files, and not adding more to my to-do list, started to give me the clarity that I had lost in the spring. My memory was coming back, my focus was more clear and I even had days with a blank to-do list.
As my short-term memory improved, so did my long-term memory. A song, a smell, a sight would bring back an old memory. Sometimes I have an extremely clear memory from the past and I don't even know what triggered it. Almost like something brought me back to that moment, but I can't pinpoint what. The brain is mysterious and amazing. And God is also mysterious and amazing. (I love when science and religion share similarities!)
What I have learned from this pandemic is that by giving myself a break, my brain slows down and my memory improves. Rather than feel guilty about taking a break, I now feel invigorated by the reset. And just as we are reminded to be kind to others, remember to BE KIND TO YOURSELF!