Monday August 3, 2020
Donlyn Ray
One day, I figured it out. That feeling was BELONG. I belonged in that room stuffing envelopes with chatty, kind people. I realized that BELONG was very different from BELONG TO
Not long ago I plunged into one of those inevitable life crossroads: move forward or stay stuck. Instinctively, move forward as a smaller whole and not half of a whole was my choice. (My dear husband had died after a long, medically dramatic illness and I had retired to help guide us through this chapter of our lives.)
But how to move forward to open the chapter as a smaller whole and not half of a whole? Everything hurt…normal encounters with people at the post office hurt! I retreated to a stillness.
One day, I was asked to help in the office at St. John’s to stuff envelopes for a mailing. I agreed only from a sense of obligation. Rob had been an instrumental guide through the years of medical drama. Curiously, my morning in the office did not hurt. Very odd. I remember to this day, thinking, “that did not hurt”.
I began to use that feeling of “that did not hurt” as a baseline for emerging into the next chapter as a smaller whole. Knowing I could navigate daily life by focusing on what “did not hurt” gave me hope.
I made decisions based on what “did not hurt”. I used the feeling of being in the office at St. John’s as the core of what I did and who I saw. If I did not feel like how I felt in that office, I would not do it. Very peculiar now as I look back; but so important to the foundation of my Project Make A Life.
One day, I figured it out. That feeling was BELONG. I belonged in that room stuffing envelopes with chatty, kind people. I realized that BELONG was very different from BELONG TO……. a church, a country club, a volunteer organization.
The next chapter slowly emerged around BELONG and has taken on a wonderfully expansive shape. That understanding of BELONG, that confidence to BELONG has enhanced, enriched, expanded my flow into the next chapter. I live in BELONG….sitting on my porch at Cable Road, stewarding the Little Free Library at the end of Cable Road, walking on my beach at Cable Road, exploring the Mekong Delta in a mini sampan, climbing to a temple at Angkor Wat at sunrise, hiking the desert to the Monastery at Petra, floating in the Dead Sea, planting the flower garden at St. Andrew’s with Martha and Shelley, sharing summer joys with the Kids and Grands and Friends.
BELONG is the core inspiration to Project Make A Life and has inspired attention to HOPE, COMMUNITY, LOVE, GRATITUDE, JOY. And I still love stuffing envelopes at St. John’s!
