Friday August 7, 2020
Jennifer Stevens
Belong
For me, belonging to a greater community, stepping outside of my own bubble, has brought me much joy, helped me to become more empathetic and allowed me to become more vulnerable.
Belong – verb – To be a member or part of
The earliest sense of belonging I have is with my family. I come from a divorced and then blended family and am grateful to have always felt a sense of closeness and love since I was a child. As I grew up, I sought out and joined other groups I felt I wanted to belong to – basketball teams, youth groups, book clubs, mom’s groups, church. I was drawn to all of these by a common interest, enjoyment and sense of purpose.
I believe we all have a much stronger and innate desire to belong and feel connected to others on a deeper level. We all want to feel seen, heard and valued and have true and authentic relationships. Most of us have experienced times when we have tried to make ourselves fit in places that we didn’t feel we truly belonged or that perhaps we didn’t feel safe to show our true selves. Possibly we felt like our true selves weren’t good enough or that we were afraid of making ourselves too vulnerable.
Brene Brown, one of my favorite theologians, speaks about belonging in this way –
“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world.”
This spiritual practice is a lifelong journey and takes courage, but is such an essential part of living a life of connection and purpose. Learning to love yourself and taking time for self-care are practices that aren’t always easy but are important steps in our journeys. Truly believing God made each and every one of us in his own image and that we all are unique, significant and valued is at the core.
For me, belonging to a greater community, stepping outside of my own bubble, has brought me much joy, helped me to become more empathetic and allowed me to become more vulnerable. St. John’s has been at the center and such a special place for me to connect with so many different people and age groups with different backgrounds. It has given me the opportunity to hear other’s stories, share my own, see glimpses of each other’s authentic selves and to see others in God’s image.
In our current 2020 reality there is a lot of loneliness, anxiety and uncertainty floating around. One of the greatest opportunities in our lives right now is to help others to feel a sense of belonging, which in turn helps us to feel more connected to each other and our communities. Simple acts of kindness can make such a profound impact on one another. Opening our eyes and paying attention to a stranger, a nod, a smile, a hello, a note in the mail, just an acknowledgement can go such a long way. We never know when this is a person’s only feeling of belonging they encounter all day.
A dear friend recently gave me a very special book about kindness, vulnerability and belonging called The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy. It’s a beautifully simple book with profound words that will stick with you for a long time. It’s a book you will reach for over and over again and then ponder about life. There are so many quotes I could share, but a few of my favorites are “Everyone is a bit scared,” said the horse. “But we are less scared together.” And “Being kind to yourself is one of the greatest kindnesses,” said the mole. Do yourself a favor and treat yourself to this gem of a book!