Thursday, March 18, 2021
Thursday in the Fourth Week of Lent
Ashley Wade
The Collect
Almighty and most merciful God, drive from us all weakness of body, mind, and spirit; that, being restored to wholeness, we may with free hearts become what you intend us to be and accomplish what you want us to do; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
Readings: Exodus 32:7–14, John 5:30–47 & Psalm 106:6–7,19–23
Today’s readings bring me back to something I wrote on Ash Wednesday: this season can I lay down what I think I know and let God drive me into the wilderness with Jesus? Surrender what I think I know… about myself, about others, about the world, about what is considered “normal.” God knows me - the selves of my inner society that boast themselves virtuous and take up all the space, but also the unknown voices and hidden places that I crowd out or keep in the shadows. When I can surrender what I think I know about myself - who I am and what I can accomplish - and allow God to shine light on the microcosm of life inside me, what possibilities dwell within? I cannot know the answer to this, but it makes me so excited to consider that God’s plan for me is so much more than I could ever imagine. By surrendering to the light of Christ inside me, I can step into the unknown with a spirit of wonderment because I trust God more than I trust myself. My own understanding of myself and the world is partial and fragmented. Surrendering control turns out to be a huge relief for me, thank you God.
In the old testament reading, Moses challenged God. Moses “implored the Lord his God” to save the people who were once again misbehaving. This from Martin Smith’s A Season for the Spirit, “A passionate God tries to stimulate and recruit our passion, but we often resist this call, numbing or dissipating our passion.” In this story, Moses engaged his own spirit of Holy Aggression to advocate for the people who would not or could not stay the course assigned to them. God in his compassion, heard Moses and shifted.
Jesus was not only tender and gentle, but passionate, emotional, and angry when he walked with us. Jesus teaches us that we are a whole universe unto itself, with the Spirit of Jesus, of Compassion, of Grace, of Fire, burning from within our core. If you like visualizations, I envision a solar system, the sun at the center, the planets, moons, space rock orbiting in balance. The light shining in proportion on every piece of rock and speck of dust as nature intended. The planets and moons have no control over this orbit - they just flow in balance and harmony. As children of God, then, we burn with the Holy Spirit at our core - our sun - and the many selves of the self enter into community around the sun, in harmonious orbit. The Spirit shines on all the parts therein — the parts we like and also the parts we dislike. Jesus invites us into a community of reconciliation in our own hearts, to participate in his compassion not only outwardly, but first and foremost, inwardly. This invitation is a breaking up of the old way of being a person. It calls to light all the banished and excluded selves of our self for reconciliation and healing. The Spirit of Jesus is not out there, but in here - it always has been. We are called to release the captives hidden away in darkness inside ourselves while also freeing our gifts and strengths to be balanced and enhanced through the incredible blessing of God’s grace. As much diversity as there is in the world, I argue exists in each one of us. We have trained ourselves to fit into a society and control which parts we accept or show. When we can find our unity in diversity, as whole people with free hearts, then we may become what God intends us to be and accomplish what God wants us to do.