Thursday, Jan. 18, 2024
On this wobbly rock | matthew 16:13-19
The Rev. Aaron B. Jenkyn
The “wobbly rock” and the old stone wall located at the Jenkyn’s former home in Grantham, NH
Full text of the homily preached at Thursday's healing Eucharist reflecting on the Confession of Peter:
Behind our house in Grantham there was an old stone wall. It served both as a boundary wall for our property as well as the border for the community we lived in. In the land beyond the wall, there were acres of uninhabited woods, woods so deep you could get lost in them, which I suppose was part of the magic for my sons and their friends who played in these woods for hours everyday. Whenever we questioned what they were doing, or wondered where they had been, or worried about how they would find their way home, they always reassured us by listing off all the ways they knew exactly where they were — “we were climbing trees just beyond the third stone wall” or “we were playing in the fort by the gooseleaf forest at the second wall”, they would say. Like many other old stone walls in NH, ours had once been part of a sheep pasture, and was part of a much larger system of stone walls that wove their way through the woods. This particular patch of woods was four stone walls deep and the boys new every inch of those woods. Sometimes their confidence was less reassuring than others - for example when they would say things like “we got lost, but then Teddy climbed to the top of the tallest tree and found the stone wall”. It both delighted me, and terrified me to hear their stories.
The thing that I loved most about their adventures was the way that they entered the woods. “If you need us, just follow the stone wall to the wobbly rock and turn left” they would say, before they ran out the door. Between our house and our neighbors, if you walked along the top of the stone wall (which is exactly where you walk when you are 6 or 36 and up for an adventure) the rocks are actually quite stable, until you come to this one particular place, where you encounter a rock bigger than all the rest and rounder too, and if you step back you can see that it is balanced on top of a rather long and flat rock, causing it to wobble this way and that when you step on it. It has been there for so long, that it wobbles back and forth, but it is not loose, it does not falter. That wobbly rock was the place everything began, and where it always came back too.
Today, in the Lectionary Calendar of the Episcopal Church we celebrate the confession of the Peter. “The confession of Peter” is an old way of saying that we honor the moment in time in which the disciple, that we know as Simon Peter, realized who Jesus was and confessed (named) it out loud. “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God,” he said. And upon hearing this, Jesus says to him “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church”
Sometimes, when we talk about Peter using metaphors of foundation and stability of steadfast faith and commitment, I think we can forget how human Peter really was. I think we can put him on a pedestal and say “look at his faith, look at how strong he was, if only I had a faith like that.” I get it, I sometimes feel like that too. I wish my faith was set in stone. And on days like today, when we celebrate Peter for his faith, I Sometimes think “If only I was more like Peter.” Which feels like a akward thing to think, because how many times have I read the Gospel stories and literally laughed out loud, or cringed, or rolled my eyes at something Peter has done? There are so many places in the Bible, in which Peter, is so classically “Peter”; impatient, rude, a little rough around the edges, full of himself, and completely clueless at times. This is the same Peter, who just two chapter before sinks into the sea because he cannot keep his eyes on Jesus, because he tries to walk on water, and panics and gives up, and Jesus has to save him “You of little faith,” Jesus says. “Why did you doubt?” And this is the same Peter who, later on, when the cock crows, denies that he even knows Jesus.
And yet… “On this rock I will build my church” Jesus says.
On this rock that doubts, that denies, that struggles, that wobbles. I will build my church.
On this rock that believes, that confesses, that follows, that tries and tries again. I will build my church.
You see, Jesus knows Peter. Jesus knows me. Jesus knows you. And Jesus builds on that rock anyway.
There are times, like in the Gospel reading today, where we experience something of the divine that makes our faith seem so firm. Moments that we are so sure of who God is, and who we are. Sometimes it comes and stays for a long awhile, other times it is just a glimmer, but it is there. And there are times too, when doubt sets in - moments of weariness when the world feels like it is falling apart, moments of despair when we are lonely, or sick, moments of anger and betrayal when our hearts are ripped open. Moments of guilt and shame when choose to turn away from Jesus.
Our faith can wobble back and forth, but in those moments when we fail to believe ourselves, when we fail to believe in ourselves, it is comforting to know that Jesus still believes in us. We may wobble back and forth, but Jesus will not let us come loose, Jesus will not let us falter. When we stand on the stone that wobbles we are invited into a divine adventure, and adventure that invites us into deeper awareness and more glorious revelation of who we are and who God is.
If the stone did not wobble, where would the adventure begin?
Amen.